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Surviving Rape in Iran's Prisons

17. During the first month, they mistreated me for hours every day. After a while, they changed my cell and placed me in a room that was one by one and a half. Living in that room was a torture by itself. It was very dirty. There were lots of anti-regime slogans on the wall. Some of those slogans inspired me. Prisoners had engraved them on the wall. Some had written the date of their execution and some the date of their tortures. All the slogans were depicted on the wall. There were six or seven blankets in the room too. All of them were dirty. There was blood, barf, urine, stool, and hair on the blankets. I couldn’t use any of the blankets there. I knocked on the door and asked for blankets. They gave me one but it was dirtier than the ones I had. The floor was tile and very cold. I was worried about my son.

18. There was a sealed door in my cell that seemed permanently locked. There was a thick icicle around 20 inches long dangled from the roof at the corner of the door too. It extended from roof to floor. Apparently rain water had leaked in and formed the icicle there.

19. We were allowed to use the restroom for 10 to 15 minutes three times a day. The water was cold and I had to clean my son with cold water and wash my hands and face with it.

20. Our guards were both men and women. Women, however, made up the majority. Women were on duty for two days and men for one. Some men were kind and allowed me to use the restroom for half an hour. For instance, there was a middle-aged guard who was very kind. He was kinder and behaved very gently with me. When he was on duty, he gave me more time to spend in the restroom. He didn’t knock on the door when I took a long time. There were eight cells in that prison. He used to take everybody out before my turn arrived.

21. Torture continued for a month. I faced difficult troubles but became very determined too. I told them that I would not say a word anymore even if I were killed. They asked me about my brother, sister and father. Meanwhile, they succeeded in capturing my father and mistreated him badly. I knew that if they captured my siblings, they would do the same things to them. Therefore, I was determined not to open my mouth under any sort of pressure. My brothers and sisters were at large. My family was literally disbanded at the time. It was a very difficult time for my family.

22. The worst torture for me was to hear the voice of my husband under torture. When they tortured him, I could hear his voice in my room. They deliberately played his voice live for me through speakers at my room. I was ready to go through thousands of forms of torture in order not to hear my husband’s voice. It was the most painful torture. I could not stand it. It was breaking and killing me.

23. The skin of my son’s feet was burned by pee as I had no clothes and diapers to keep him clean. There was not enough food. After a while, my milk dried up and I didn’t have milk or food to feed him. My son kept crying because he was hungry. When I think about those days, I wonder how on earth I tolerated the pain, the stress, the torture, and the psychological pressure and still took good care of my son.

Denial of my Child Custody

24. A week after my arrest, they took my son from me. It was another method of their torture. My son was hurt there. They told me that I was not allowed to bring up a kid as a non-believer in an Islamic country. They said that my milk was religiously prohibited because I was a non-believer. They said that I was an infidel and I was not a proper mom to my son. The next time they came and said that they had decided to give my son to an orphanage to bring him up. I did not give up my son. I told them they could take my son over my dead body. A woman Pasdar came to take him from me by force. I hit her in the stomach. She fell to the ground, insulted me, and went away.

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Tagged as:

Imprisonment, Sexual Violence, Torture, Inhuman and Degrading Treatment, Punishment