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Surviving Rape in Iran's Prisons

25. Then a strong Sepah man came and insulted me and said, “Whore, don’t think God has given this son to you. He has given him to the Islamic Government. You don’t have any right over him.” He came and pulled him away from my arm. He was pulling him toward himself and I was holding him in my arms. At this time, I heard a clicking sound from my son’s back. My hands loosened. I thought my son was split in two. He fell on the ground and he took him away.

26. Then they took me to the interrogation room and said that I did not deserve my son because I was an infidel and my hands were “dirty.” When my hands touch him, he gets dirty. They said that he was God’s creature and should be brought up by Muslims. During interrogation, I heard my son’s voice and understood that it was another method of torture to extract information from me. Later I understood that a lady prisoner took care of my son at the time they questioned me that day. I met the lady who took care of my son in the general ward when I was transferred there later on.

27. They interrogated me for two hours. After two hours they brought my son back. He was crying hard. They mistreated me badly during those two hours. They beat me. Sometimes on my back, sometime on my feet, sometimes on my head. They threatened that I would never see my son again. They said that they would kill my son. I knew within my heart that they would not harm my son. However, I was worried that he might have been hurt forever. I’ve not been able to say this thing had happened to him in prison yet. I can’t tell him either. I took him to the doctor. He was in a lot of pain. A doctor told me that he has sciatica.

Rape

28. A week after my arrest after they realized they could not break me, they threatened me with rape. They told me that I was useless and worthy of nothing. They could do anything with me.

29. I was crushed when they threatened me with rape. I grew up in a political family and was politically active from childhood. I had never thought about sexual violence and it had never come to my mind that one day I would be a victim of sexual violence. Just the thought of rape devastated me. I got mad and very angry. I told them, “You were wrong. You can’t do this to me.” They did it out of spite.

30. They took me to a torture room and tied me to a bed. I was wounded and injured but I forgot about wounds and injuries. I thought I was fainting. The anger and the depth of the impending tragedy and the prospect of being raped were suffocating me. I could hardly take a breath. I thought about my son and what he would make of it. I was concerned about the negative impact of rape on him. I was afraid that he could hear and see. I was only thinking about him-just him.

31. Meanwhile, it came to my mind that if they played my husband’s voice at my room, they would play my voice while being raped to him at his room too. Therefore, I tried to suppress my voice. I tried to not make any sort of sound to hint that I was being raped.

32. I thought I had a stroke. I was lying as if I were unconscious. Moments later I felt only… I felt weak, miserable, hatred, and anger. I fell unconscious. When I regained consciousness, I found myself in my cell. I felt extreme burning. In fact, the burning revived me. The burning was thousands times worse than torture. I felt they had inserted something hot or a sharp knife in my back. It was a horrible feeling, absolutely horrible.

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Tagged as:

Imprisonment, Sexual Violence, Torture, Inhuman and Degrading Treatment, Punishment