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Surviving Rape in Iran's Prisons

Life after Prison

58. After I was released, I led a difficult life. I had no money, house or property. I had no income. Nobody was willing to hire me and therefore, I could not rent a house. It was a difficult time and everybody was afraid. They believed that I would put them in danger because I was a political person.

59. Finally, I married my brother-in-law who was seven years older than my husband. He had been imprisoned too and severely tortured. Therefore, he suffered from depression and mental abnormalities. One reason I married him was because of my son. My father-in-law, who was the legal guardian of my son, wanted to take him from me. I did not want to be separated from my son by marrying somebody else. He wanted to take my son from me. My son was seven years old then. He was everything in my life. Without him, life had no purpose for me. I could not live without him.

60. I gave birth to my second son with my second husband. When my second son turned six years old, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I received chemotherapy in Iran. Two years later, I had an operation. Then I left Iran for Canada. My older son remained in Iran with his uncle. Seven years later he joined me. He was 25 years old when he got here. He is living with me now. My younger son is 20 years old and the older one is 29.

61. Here I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had an operation. I had a second operation here on my ears because my second husband and Pasdars beat my ears causing me to become deaf. I have regained my hearing now but now I suffer from back pain and acute arthritis. These diseases cannot break me. I get along with them. I still have a good spirit and live a good life with others. I visit people of my age and support women’s causes. I’ve regular weekly meetings with them. Sometimes, we share our pain, sorrow and happiness with each other and support each other with all our means.

62. I didn’t tell anybody about my rape; not even my sister in Iran. I kept silent there for 20 years. When I got to Canada, I met a psychologist here. She understood my behavior and said that I must have suffered a lot and I opened myself to her for the first time. It's years since I started receiving different treatments. But I have not recovered fully from the trauma. I still have nightmares and take 50 to 60 pills every day. Many people have urged me to file a complaint against the Islamic Regime, but I did not.

63. My children are adults now and I’m positive they will understand me now. Therefore, I told my stories to you. I trust you and hope you would use this for the right purpose. I’m telling my story hoping that it does not happen again and that others do not suffer the pain I went through.


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Tagged as:

Imprisonment, Sexual Violence, Torture, Inhuman and Degrading Treatment, Punishment